The Light is Coming
By: The Rev. Christina Miller
I recently visited a couple who are dear friends of mine in Monterey. As we caught up on all the different areas of our lives the conversation shifted to things they have been learning in raising two little kids and being intentional to create strong relationships in their family. They laughed about the hits and misses of resolving conflict with a four and an eight year old.
They explained how when they apologize to their eight year old daughter for something they could have done better she will take the opportunity to list off all of her other grievances, saying, “well,you also did this, and this, and this,” causing a humble bowing of the head, “you are right, I did do that too.” When their youngest does something wrong he is quick to apologize and ask for forgiveness, but he can’t move on right away. He needs the reassurance that his parents still love him, and his miss-step isn’t being held against him. So my friends give him as much time as he needs, cuddling or playing together, until he is ready to move on and enjoy being a kid again.
According to The Gottman Institute, who’s mission is to “foster and sustain greater love and health in relationships,” my friends are practicing repair with their kids. As we all know, conflict is inevitable in relationships, but according to the Gottman’s research what determines the health of the relationship going forward is if you can emotionally process what happened and reestablish a sense of safety and closeness. So it isn’t so much about not making mistakes as about what you do with them. What the mistake is or fixing the problem isn’t as significant as knowing how to repair the trust that has been ruptured.
Which brings us to Advent. A season in the church when we anticipate with great longing and hope the coming of Christ. We are longing because we know that our relationships to God and one another have had ruptures. We have not loved God with our whole heart. We have not loved our neighbors as ourselves. We have made mistakes and could have done better, and we long for repair. We long for God to draw close to us with the patience and tenderness of a parent to their child reassuring us that nothing can take away God’s love towards us. Nothing we do, no matter how terrible or misguided, can be held against us, because God is always ready to forgive. And when we draw near God will help us regain a sense of safety, closeness, and even worthiness.
This is the message that Zephaniah gives God’s people living in Judah in our reading this morning. The majority of Zephaniah’s writings warn about an impending judgement since Judah will not uphold their convent with God and instead continue to worship foreign gods and idols.
Which means that they are not upholding the laws that enable them to act justly, show mercy, and walk humbly with God (in the words of the prophet Micah). Zephaniah urges them to repent, calling them to gather together and seek God, to seek righteousness and humility. Yes, their relationship to God and one another has been ruptured. But if they seek repair they can still be forgiven and restored to wholeness.
Then, in almost the same breath, Zephaniah goes back to prophetically naming the destruction that is ahead when they do not heed his warnings. This judgment and destruction could likely be the natural consequences of their actions. What happens when people abuse one another and the earth, and in doing so, abuse themselves and cause all kinds of suffering. Yet there is this surprising conclusion in the final verses, which some translations title “a song of joy,” where Zephaniah just as prophetically and powerfully names what it will look like when their covenantal relationship has been repaired. He says, “Sing aloud, O daughter Zion; shout, O Israel! Rejoice and exult with all your heart, O daughter Jerusalem! The Lord has taken away the judgements against you. God has turned away your enemies and is in your midst.”
Like the Gottman’s research said, it doesn’t matter what or how bad their mistakes have been. What ultimately matters is that they are willing to return to God and repair what has been ruptured. This brings them back into relationship so they can foster and sustain greater love and health, manifesting God’s justice and mercy in the world. And lest they think they have to now live under guilt or shame or fear for all of their miss-steps, or that God is forever angry with them, Zephaniah reassures them of God’s love saying, “God will rejoice over you with joy. God will renew you in God’s love and will exult over you with singing.” This is an active and expressive love. A love that delights in them. A love that is regenerating. A love that is characterized by joy.
And so, on this third Sunday of Advent we light our rose candle representing joy. The joy that despite the deep ruptures in humanity’s relationship to God, and one another, and the earth, we can never lose God’s love. It is always renewing and connecting us, delighting in us and rejoicing over us. We are joyful that we have seen the manifestation of this love in human form through the very particular event of Jesus’ birth centuries ago, when God’s love entered into the world in the form of a tender baby. God’s love has continued to grow in us and around us, while we also look forward with patience and longing for the day when there won’t be anymore ruptures in our relationship to God or with one another. When all is finally and completely repaired and our joy will be complete.
In these next two weeks of our Advent waiting you may want to light a candle each evening to meditate on the light that is coming into the world through Jesus’ birth and through Christ being made fully manifest in our world. Just sitting quietly with the light of your candle can be a way of drawing near to God who is patiently and tenderly waiting for you like a loving parent, wanting to spend as much time with you as you need to repair any ruptures in your relationship, and to reassure you that you are still and always have been loved. In these quiet Advent moments, may you feel God rejoicing over you with joy, renewing you in love, and exulting over you with singing. Amen.
